A bully starts a fight - plays up in the office or online, gets pulled aside for his or her behaviour. Then the bully twists words, casts blame and somehow turns themselves into a victim. People around them back down, make amends, do what they can to assuage further tantrums and gives the bully another chance. And the cycle continues. Being a bully is a choice, but to some degree, allowing the cycle to continue is also a choice or at the very least a choice no-one truly wanted to make - a mistake.